Update - 9 Months Later

It has been quite a while since I've thought about this blog. Clearly, I did not make good on my promise to post daily and as it turns out monthly even.

Honestly, I stopped posting because I failed. In March during the 2010 SXSW film and music festival I caved and began smoking again. Shortly after the festival ended I quit again. Since then I have smoked occasionally in social situations without much trouble. I rarely desire cigarettes because the new monkey on my back is snus. My brain has made the switch and now associates the pleasures of nicotine with snus. As long as I continue to use snus I am not fearful that I will go back to smoking if I have one every now and then.

I tried my plan of slowly reducing my nicotine levels bit by bit based on the snus I purchased and finally got down to nicotine and tobacco free snus. I skipped the step with the nicotine gum. I lasted 2 days and then caved. Without snus easily available I picked smoking right back up.

Currently, I'm back on the Swedish Snus, a slave to nicotine but not to cigarettes, while I plan my new strategy to kick nicotine for good. I have a smoke every now and then with a co-worker or a friend and feel it's pretty harmless.

All in all at this point in the “experiment” I feel good. It's been close to a year since I began tempting my cigarette addiction and this last year, while not being cigarette free, has certainly had a lot less smoke in it. A year ago I would've never thought this was possible.  

Week 2 - Boredom

Alas, week 2 has been pretty uneventful which is why I haven't been posting daily. I've yet to smoke a cigarette and that is good news. I've also yet to decrease my nicotine intake and well, I'll give myself a pass on that for right now.

Honestly, the largest struggle this week was boredom.

Day 8 - The Bar

So, last night I had my first real socialization since I gave up smoking. I had dinner and went to listen to jazz with an old friend I haven't seen in a few months and for the first time was grateful for the public smoking ban. While it seemed inappropriate to be in a jazz bar that didn't have plumes of stale blue cigarette smoke stinging my eyes, I was thankful not to have the reminder of cigarettes quite literally surrounding me.

Day 7 - Drunk

So on day seven I decided to really put myself to the test by facing one of my biggest smoking triggers: alcohol. I got off work early, rented 3 movies, bought a bottle of bourbon and went to town. Now if I'd really and truly wanted to test myself I should've bought a pack of cigarettes with the bottle but, while I appreciate a challenge, I am no masochist.

The afternoon started off fine but after about 3 drinks in I began to struggle. I started bargaining with myself.

“You know, one cigarette won't hurt. You've gone nearly a whole week. Only one cigarette in a week is quite an accomplishment.”

“You're alone. No one will even know.”

“Just smoke half of one. You can still say that you haven't had a cigarette.”

Days 4, 5 & 6 - The Conference

Admittedly, the last three days of this experiment have been the toughest.

Running conferences always exhausts me and I keep up my pace with lots of coffee and smoking every free moment I have. I nearly bought a pack of emergency cigarettes strictly for the safety of my co-works and conference attendees, but decided that in a pinch there was a gas station within easy walking distance. I'm glad I made that decision because I might have caved if there'd been a pack in my bag.

Day 3 - The Office

So day three cigarette-free came and went. Being at work with the pressure and the desperate desire to step away for a moment was difficult but not nearly as difficult as I imagined. I have a new motto now. “Keep the ritual. Ditch the habit.”

When I really wanted to step away, I did, I just didn't smoke a cigarette. I still went downstairs and outside, sometimes with my smoking co-worker, sometimes on my own. I popped a snus, shot the shit (if the co-worker was present) or occupied my time by pacing around outside or making a personal phone call.

Days 1 & 2 - The Beginning

It has now been 2 days cigarette-free, not tobacco-free and certainly not nicotine-free, but no cigarettes.

Quitting on a weekend was a wise decision. This way I have more control over my triggers such as stress, ritual, and peer pressure. During the work week these things all play against me. When in the office, I typically take a smoke break every 1-2 hours and have a co-worker that shares these breaks with me. Also, many times additional smoking time is inserted due to a stressful meeting or avoidance of an annoying task. Now, I start the work week with 2 smoke-free days behind me.