Update - 9 Months Later

It has been quite a while since I've thought about this blog. Clearly, I did not make good on my promise to post daily and as it turns out monthly even.

Honestly, I stopped posting because I failed. In March during the 2010 SXSW film and music festival I caved and began smoking again. Shortly after the festival ended I quit again. Since then I have smoked occasionally in social situations without much trouble. I rarely desire cigarettes because the new monkey on my back is snus. My brain has made the switch and now associates the pleasures of nicotine with snus. As long as I continue to use snus I am not fearful that I will go back to smoking if I have one every now and then.

I tried my plan of slowly reducing my nicotine levels bit by bit based on the snus I purchased and finally got down to nicotine and tobacco free snus. I skipped the step with the nicotine gum. I lasted 2 days and then caved. Without snus easily available I picked smoking right back up.

Currently, I'm back on the Swedish Snus, a slave to nicotine but not to cigarettes, while I plan my new strategy to kick nicotine for good. I have a smoke every now and then with a co-worker or a friend and feel it's pretty harmless.

All in all at this point in the “experiment” I feel good. It's been close to a year since I began tempting my cigarette addiction and this last year, while not being cigarette free, has certainly had a lot less smoke in it. A year ago I would've never thought this was possible.  

Week 2 - Boredom

Alas, week 2 has been pretty uneventful which is why I haven't been posting daily. I've yet to smoke a cigarette and that is good news. I've also yet to decrease my nicotine intake and well, I'll give myself a pass on that for right now.

Honestly, the largest struggle this week was boredom.

Day 8 - The Bar

So, last night I had my first real socialization since I gave up smoking. I had dinner and went to listen to jazz with an old friend I haven't seen in a few months and for the first time was grateful for the public smoking ban. While it seemed inappropriate to be in a jazz bar that didn't have plumes of stale blue cigarette smoke stinging my eyes, I was thankful not to have the reminder of cigarettes quite literally surrounding me.

Day 7 - Drunk

So on day seven I decided to really put myself to the test by facing one of my biggest smoking triggers: alcohol. I got off work early, rented 3 movies, bought a bottle of bourbon and went to town. Now if I'd really and truly wanted to test myself I should've bought a pack of cigarettes with the bottle but, while I appreciate a challenge, I am no masochist.

The afternoon started off fine but after about 3 drinks in I began to struggle. I started bargaining with myself.

“You know, one cigarette won't hurt. You've gone nearly a whole week. Only one cigarette in a week is quite an accomplishment.”

“You're alone. No one will even know.”

“Just smoke half of one. You can still say that you haven't had a cigarette.”

Days 4, 5 & 6 - The Conference

Admittedly, the last three days of this experiment have been the toughest.

Running conferences always exhausts me and I keep up my pace with lots of coffee and smoking every free moment I have. I nearly bought a pack of emergency cigarettes strictly for the safety of my co-works and conference attendees, but decided that in a pinch there was a gas station within easy walking distance. I'm glad I made that decision because I might have caved if there'd been a pack in my bag.

Day 3 - The Office

So day three cigarette-free came and went. Being at work with the pressure and the desperate desire to step away for a moment was difficult but not nearly as difficult as I imagined. I have a new motto now. “Keep the ritual. Ditch the habit.”

When I really wanted to step away, I did, I just didn't smoke a cigarette. I still went downstairs and outside, sometimes with my smoking co-worker, sometimes on my own. I popped a snus, shot the shit (if the co-worker was present) or occupied my time by pacing around outside or making a personal phone call.

Days 1 & 2 - The Beginning

It has now been 2 days cigarette-free, not tobacco-free and certainly not nicotine-free, but no cigarettes.

Quitting on a weekend was a wise decision. This way I have more control over my triggers such as stress, ritual, and peer pressure. During the work week these things all play against me. When in the office, I typically take a smoke break every 1-2 hours and have a co-worker that shares these breaks with me. Also, many times additional smoking time is inserted due to a stressful meeting or avoidance of an annoying task. Now, I start the work week with 2 smoke-free days behind me.

The Plan

I've been a 1 to 2 pack(s) a day smoker for over 10 years. I have been accused (and rightfully so) of making people I hang out with smoke more, smokers and “non-smokers” alike. I have considered quitting many times, thought through all of the scenarios and attempted only once and failed after less than a week.

The scare tactics of quitting smoking have never really appealed to my sensibility, because they've never really made sense to me.

“Smoking makes you smell bad.” Well, only if you don't like the smell of smoke. Plenty of people don't like good cheese, beer, wine or anchovies, yet people still consume these things because they are acquired tastes. The stench of stale smoke is the same.

“Smoking discolors your teeth.” Yes, and so does coffee, soda and pretty much anything else I put in my mouth that isn't toothpaste. That is what dentists are for.

“Second-hand smoke affects the health of others.” True, but not to the degree that has been advertised. Besides, I've always been a conscientious smoker. I step away from crowds when smoking and rarely smoke when people ask me not to.

And the big one, “If you smoke you will die.” Well, we're all going to die. Okay then, “if you smoke you will die sooner.” Probably, but here's some insight. One of the primary reasons people smoke and certainly one of the primary reasons I smoke is to kill time. Granted this killing of time is in 5 minute increments and few of us smokers really think about it within the larger picture, but do people really think they are going to get someone to break a horribly addicting habit that is primarily about whittling away time by scaring them with having less time overall? Just doesn't make sense.

So, then why am I going to quit smoking?