The Plan

I've been a 1 to 2 pack(s) a day smoker for over 10 years. I have been accused (and rightfully so) of making people I hang out with smoke more, smokers and “non-smokers” alike. I have considered quitting many times, thought through all of the scenarios and attempted only once and failed after less than a week.

The scare tactics of quitting smoking have never really appealed to my sensibility, because they've never really made sense to me.

“Smoking makes you smell bad.” Well, only if you don't like the smell of smoke. Plenty of people don't like good cheese, beer, wine or anchovies, yet people still consume these things because they are acquired tastes. The stench of stale smoke is the same.

“Smoking discolors your teeth.” Yes, and so does coffee, soda and pretty much anything else I put in my mouth that isn't toothpaste. That is what dentists are for.

“Second-hand smoke affects the health of others.” True, but not to the degree that has been advertised. Besides, I've always been a conscientious smoker. I step away from crowds when smoking and rarely smoke when people ask me not to.

And the big one, “If you smoke you will die.” Well, we're all going to die. Okay then, “if you smoke you will die sooner.” Probably, but here's some insight. One of the primary reasons people smoke and certainly one of the primary reasons I smoke is to kill time. Granted this killing of time is in 5 minute increments and few of us smokers really think about it within the larger picture, but do people really think they are going to get someone to break a horribly addicting habit that is primarily about whittling away time by scaring them with having less time overall? Just doesn't make sense.

So, then why am I going to quit smoking?
It's because of the day-to-day effects. I'm tired of getting winded every time I walk up a few flights of stairs. I'm sick of the annoying hack in the mornings. I am restless of this relentless need to feed my addiction every couple of hours regardless of whether I want to smoke. And the primary reason I am quitting? Quite simply, I don't enjoy it anymore. Sure there are maybe 3, possibly 4 cigarettes I enjoy out of the 30 to 40 I smoke a day, but it has finally reached the point where the good doesn't outweigh the bad. Now, it is time to break myself away from this crippling addiction.

I didn't think that conventional methods would work (the patch, the gum) and wasn't willing to risk the crazy side effects of the prescription drugs, so I came up with a couple of unconventional means: the electronic cigarette and snus.

The electronic cigarette worked really well for cutting back on my cigarette consumption. For the last month I've reduced my cigarette intake to about 3 to 5 a day, relying heavily on the fake cigarette.

I have used the Camel snus to help me through those uncomfortable flying moments when I couldn't smoke but felt that it never really had much of a kick. I did some minor research online and found that you can purchase Swedish snus that has considerable more nicotine and many brands and varieties.

Within the last week, I've tested my resolve to see if I could possibly quit smoking for just one day by using the e-cigarette coupled with the snus. It worked, but I discovered when I really really wanted a cigarette the fake one just didn't cut it. What did cut it was putting 16 mg of nicotine under my lip. The desire to smoke a cigarette dissolved like the nicotine from the snus into my blood stream.

And now the plan. I will quit smoking by switching my nicotine addiction from cigarettes to snus. I will drop the e-cigarette because while it is effective in reducing my cigarette consumption it is ineffective in eliminating it. If I can switch my psychological addiction from inhaling nicotine to sticking it in my mouth then eventually nicotine gum might actually work.

I will begin by stuffing my mouth with as much snus as it will take to prevent me from smoking. Once some time goes by, I will then switch to a snus with less nicotine and so forth until I am convinced that the switch to nicotine gum will hold. Then once I am sufficiently addicted to the gum I will slowly trade the nicotine laden gum with regular gum, hopefully resulting in a harmless gum addiction.

I realize this might sound stupid and it probably is but if I can quit smoking then won't it have all been worth it? Regardless of its ridiculousness, tonight is my last night with cigarettes. I've stocked up on some high-powered snus and the experiment begins tomorrow.

I intend to chronicle this experiment and we'll all find out whether or not it works. Until then, have a smoke for me.